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Snippets

Bits and pieces of conversations I have had with people ... some completely imaginary, others modified as I see fit :-)

. . . 
she is beautiful
You should know that beauty fades with time.
That is why one should start out with something outstanding so that when it begins to fade, you can still "stand" it.
You are a case, you know.
Have I sent you her picture?
I don't think so.
OK, I am mailing it to you right away.
Any chance you will consider the other one?
Nope. You know that saying about "getting what you like so you don't have to like what you get?"
. . .


I was in a luxurious bus somewhere around Kano when one of those "Mobile Marketers" made the following sales pitch:

. . . I beg you my brother, if you no get wife, don't buy this medicine. I beg you my sister, if you no get husband, no buy this medicine  . . .

(I just had to turn round to take a look at this "medicine")

. . .  see the medicine, no be American, no be Nigerian, na Arab . . .  (showing the packet to all and sundry)

I noticed that it said "Ceagra" on the packet. I guess it was some play on Viagra.

Of course I won't state the lasts statement the guy made here because you (the reader) might just be under 16!


Three Tunde's were gossiping ... eh sorry, gisting
I, the fourth Tunde was lying on the bed, facing the wall and pretending to be sleeping

The other three guys were discussing three things: money, women and cars
(girls are known to discuss three things too: money, men and clothing
So who says the sexes don't have anything in common? What happened to money?)

They first started talking about how expensive various cars were, then naturally gravitated
to money (to buy the cars of course). One went as far as to say he had be better of dead
if he doesn't strike it rich - suggesting he might even take his own life if he doesn't make
it into the big league!
And when guys talk about cars and money, sooner or later women will crop up.
You mean you took that car to visit that girl?
Yes o. We just sat at the back and talked for about 30 "whole" minutes (as if he was talking
about the next day!) I didn't even talk about "relationship" or anything, we just gisted.
You have got competitors o! One guy takes one totally chromed Honda to her place, and
I tell you the chrome job on that car alone is worth over N200,000 (a little digression here
on how expensive chromed cars cost and where you can get one done)

You mean that is the guy I am competing with?
There are other ones o! But not to worry, that particular one, e fit be say he borrow the car now!
But when you buy your own, na killer it go be!
. . .
When my brother bring his ride from Lagos, and I was told say I go drive it go that Felicia's house,
i just first got inside and asked them to hand me the keys. When we got to her house - she has
a big house, but you can see the front from the main gates. She, her older sister and younger
brother were sitting in front of the house. She got up and went round the car admiring it and asking
if this was his car and commenting that it was so nice. Then my brother told her that we "cleared"
it at Lagos and that we were taking it to the village for my father. She just screamed! How can you
take this lovely car to the village! You should leave it in town. Anyway my brother, she, her sister and
brother piled into the car and we drove them round town. When we went back to drop them off, she
was asking if we would come again. That's is the girl that was playing it cool before o!

After a while the discussion became more lewd so i won't repeat the stuff that was said here! But
suffice it to say, he mentioned his older brother, his older brother's girlfriend, his brother's car and 
the fact that the guy lived in a one-room apartment and that sometimes he got in the way of certain 
things that would have happened naturally had he been absent - I hope I haven't give too much away?

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