Make your own free website on Tripod.com

 

Home 
About Myself 
Favorites 
Photos 
Links 
Contact Me 

Old Entries

Yours Truly
Snippets
NYSC
Writings
Sad Songs
Blog
Electronically Yours

 

 

Constants

Skills for hire
Freeware
Social Life
Family
Favorite Songs
Business

  Of Dogs and Drinks

  I am finally convinced that the mongrel with which I currently share the house has found a way to get into the house in my absence. Not only that, it must have found a way past the locked iron gate that separates the ground floor from the upper level of the house; then found the key into the locked study where all the alcoholic drinks are kept. I can't find a better explanation for its eyes which are permanently bloodshot. And that knowing look it sometimes gives me - "as if to say I know what you did last summer..."
I think the only thing to do in this kind of situation is . . . .

"... to ask the dog where it got the keys!" Then we can both have one hell of a party!

08/07/2006
 

  Crash landing.

 

The plane was quite full and shortly before we started the descent to land, a flight attendant went round distributing VNL face-caps and T-shirts. I stuffed mine into the back of the seat in front of me. Then suddenly the plane lost control and it was clear we were going to crash. I was a little nervous and started repeating the words "Jesus take my soul" - that's all I could think of - if I was going to die, I wanted to make heaven. Others joined and started repeating the same words. There was some hysteria of course. I believe Akintunde was on the plane as well. The plane crashed - crash landed on top of a tall building - hanging precariously by its landing gear.
And it the way of such things I found myself standing in the large space in front of the  building at ground level starring up at the unbelievably balanced plane. Soon I along with others started making our way up the flight of stairs in the building. we were heading for the roof and the plane so as to get our things. The building looked suspiciously like my office but while my office was only 4 floors, this building was probably about 20 floors high. Son after retrieving out stuff from the plane, I was back at ground level in a car heading with others to the car pack. Akintunde was in the car too. We were of course talking about the plane, the free T-shirts etc.

The following are facts:
Free T-shirts and caps were handed out at my office that day
The building next to my office is quite tall
I think I was given a ride by a colleague along with Akintunde to the car park after work the same day

Probably my tired brain mixing occurrences from the day up in the dream I had during the night!

29/06/2006
 

  That word . . .

  "There goes my son. I am very proud of the boy . . ." - something any father might say about his son and with good reason too.
But that word "proud" or pride. That really spoils it - though it has become accepted in everyday use such as "I am a proud African" etc
But the Bible states twice that God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble (put bible quotes)
Let' see how God says the same thing such as an earthly father would say about his son when talking about Jesus. Matthew x.xx says "this is my son in whom I am well pleased). See the substitution? God substituted the goo word "pleased" for "proud" even though the statement can be loosely translated "this is my son; my pride and joy." and as the saying goes, the trouble with humility is that you can't brag about it!

19/05/2006
 

  The Word of God

  It seems some people are taking the Word of God too literarily. Yes He said you should multiply - but that doesn't mean you should triple your size! It means you should reproduce (after your kind - i.e., create some lil' piccaninies :-)

18/05/2006
 

  Remembering Folarin George

  I can't say I knew you Folarin, but I heard you were big, quiet and gentle just like your brother Big George.

I know your loving family will miss you. But time will pass and one day we will all be together to part no more.

16/05/2006
 

 Men and Women

  So there I was sitting by the driver waiting for the taxi to fill up.
There was already a man in the back and soon two ladies joined us
and we were on our merry way to Iwo Road (me enroute to Lagos)

First Lady (FL): ... I will get Mosun to help me buy the cloth at the house fellowship.
Second Lady (SL): I don't think I know her.
FL: I am sure you do.
SL: Is she the dark one I sometimes see you with?
...
...
...
FL: She has a very good fashion taste but unfortunately she is not fine.
The beautiful ones are not yet born and the ugly ones refuse to die
... eh eh eh!

...
...
...
SL: Her boyfriend is not fine but he is educated
...
...
...
SL: So she says she doesn't even want a fine boy (for a boyfriend)
FL: Who ask he "story"
SL: She just started telling me o!
..
..
FL: She encourages all those boys to take her out and buy her free lunch
and drinks. But as soon as her boyfriend calls, she starts to frown at them.
...
...
...
FL: . . . the boy is not fine.
SL: But John is more ugly than him . . . eh eh eh (more laughter)

... other stories of husband's families and mother-in-laws and not showing any Yoruba-type respect to in-laws that are either semi-literate and/or younger than the girls .... etc

Bow to the females of the specie!

17/04/2006

  My case Your Honour

  I had a major altercation with a colleague today over a minor issue.

It appears his unit had been storing backups on a server which the application owner (owner of the server) asked my unit to reinstall (total overwrite). Anyway some guys in his unit found out the deed had been done and asked me about it. I explained that the backups were gone but it should be possible to allocate them some new space on the newly installed server where they can then commence putting fresh backups. That was that. We discussed like true gentlemen with no raised voice - amiably.
So I went back to my seat and some fifteen minutes later the Big Guy storms up to my area of the office and started giving me sh--t. Talking about how "courtesy demanded that I inform them ... "
Well, I told him that the application owner who made the request and gave the go ahead is a member of his unit to which he replied that how much do I expect the person to know etc. I replied that I couldn't be expected to know everything either. He started raising his voice and I started doing the same. He got so worked up in his righteous anger that he hit the cubicle divider so hard it sent a mug flying off the table (not my table; not my mug). Then he stormed off to his desk. At that point some other colleagues in the office had to say that we "take it easy."
The H.O.D. came later (in part due to the commotion) and parted me on the back and told me to calm down. I jokingly told him that he was talking to the wrong person as he should be asking the guy that wanted to break the table to calm down.

Some part of me wished he had broken a few fingers when he hit the table. It would have served him right! But he is a big guy so no luck there. There is a saying in Yoruba along the line of the reasoning that reaction should be commensurate with action - "kila gbe, kile ju" - say you abuse someone and the next thing he does is pull out a gun with the intention of gunning you down; that is taking things too far!

I heard him mumbling to his team mates that "it wasn't my fault, if not that we were working together in the same place..." This of course, is a derogatory comment  meaning that if not for work, I probably wouldn't be in his vicinity/class etc. To which I mentally went "who does he think he is?"

I try very had to accommodate everybody but in truth you can't be all things to all people. With the previous paragraph in my, the saying that "the trouble with humility is that you can't boast about it" comes to mind. As my pastors says, people are just proud and it doesn't matter whether rich or poor. The good book also says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. We were both proud and so is a lot of people. I try, truly I do.

The  facts of the case (he had no case by the way):
1. The application/server owner requested the change
2. The application/server owner is a member of his unit
3. The onus is on him to ensure that the server's owner knew of his using the server as a backup dump
4. The server is not live. If the server had been live, I would almost certainly have involved him more actively and we wouldn't just have accepted a verbal request to reinstall the server. In fact, there is due process (along with signed documentation ) to be followed for live servers.
5. The affected data are just backups. Yes, there is a chance that Murphy's law will kick in and any of those backups may be needed, but if as I had discussed with his team members, we create some space and they start to take fresh backups now, the chances are that within a day or two, they would have backups of all the servers in their charge. In fact, these same backups that were "lost" have almost certainly been copied to tape, so what was his problem?

He must have called my immediate boss who then called me. My boss agreed with me totally. So instead of creating some space, I read my mails, packed up my computer and headed for home! Good luck to him :-)

Passed him on the bike while he was walking to the car park. He was still grumbling to a team mate about the issue. Considering the size of him, I hope he does have a heart attack. Serious, I mean it (that is I truly feel concerned enough  to hope he doesn't)

So he called about an hour and a half later to explain and apologize. He was just concerned about what would have happened if something had gone wrong with any of the systems and there had been no backups to turn to ...

28/04/2006

  Time to Remember

  Anne Frank
Baba Banji
Mama Jale
Dele Ogundipe
Doreen Ojurongbe
Rev. Akinyoade
Buzugbe
Laide Itayemi
Funmilola Odedoyin

In all things and at all times, give thanks.

We blossom and flourish as leaves on the tree, and wither and perish - but Oh Lord nought changeth thee.

16/03/2006

  Knocking on heaven's door

  Wyclef Jean: "knock, knock, knocking on the heavens doors . . . for Biggie Smalls and Tu Pac . . ."

If we are to be realistic about the issue, one is likely to be knocking on hell's barbed gates if one goes out in a blaze of gunfire (instead of a blaze of glory) like Smalls and Tu Pac did. But the myth is that everyone that dies goes to heaven and bad things may not be said about dead people.

20/01/2006

  Aroro

  I boarded a bus this afternoon . . .

The bus conductor: all these passenger wey I carry are all aroro people. I know them. Na for this hour I dey carry them. Them go full bustop and when you stop for them, the first thing dem go ask a "elo ni"
Busr Driver: "awon eloni"
Bus conductor: "E be like se dem dey go school for the thing"
"Na the money wey someone go pay from Apongbongon to Ojuelegba na hin dem go wan pay from V/I to Ojuelegba.

20/01/2006

  Word for Today

  You can not be sure of when you will leave, but you can be certain where you are going

13/01/2005

  In Remembrance ...

  I have seen death at the window biding his time while the babe being christened gurgled in the crib.
I have heard a mother's cry; a widow's lament; a child in distress; a lover's sorrow
I have heard of a call too soon; a call at noon; and goings at full moon;

Should this stop us from:

loving,
friendship,
schooling,
marrying,
 

No I think not.

Could days, months and years be given by one to another, I know you will give.

Instead let us live as it is said
as if today were our last and plan as if we would live forever.

Let us speak words of love; express the passion that makes us human;

It is true that one cannot feel another's pain no matter the effort.

Death where is thy sting

As David declared " I shall not die but live and declare the works of HIS hands.
So shall we in this world no matter how brief, and surely in the world to come ...
. . .  forever and ever   . . .
. . .  Amen

"I will see you in a bit"

(In remembrance of the father of a friend whose surname starts with the same letter as mine. Though I knew him not, his family did - as surely as I know mine)

R.I.P.

09/01/2005

  The Real Santa

  The following is what a 9-year old boy had to say about the Santa Claus in his school:
"The real Santa died in 1996. The Santa in my school is our gateman, we saw him being dressed. Besides, the presents didn't come from a bag, they were from cartons. We heard that 2 teachers in our school went to the market to buy them."

Who says children don't believe in Santa? They just know when they are being taken for a ride :-)


24/12/2005

  Lemon grass

  I was watching a programme on TV yesterday. The herbal-medicine specialist that was a guest said "Lemon grass is important. A woman that does not have it in her house should be queried by her husband."

Me thinks that is a lot of query that's about to get sent out. All you married women without lemon grass at home, "you are just about to be served" :-)


24/12/2005

  Compliments of the season

  Compliments of the season to everyone. Merry Xmas and happy new year.

May the New Year be filled with God's mercies and blessings for everyone.


22/12/2005

  All ...

  Went to watch King Kong yesterday night. Very nice film.

A couple next to me at some point in the film made a comment about death to which I have added a couple of lines.

The brave die young
The coward die many times
The poor die unsung
In the long run all die


21/12/2005

  Sleep...

  So it's another Friday, I have got 4 packs of chips in my bag and on my way home. I like to have something to munch while I watch TV or a film on my laptop. At the kiosk on the corner, I decided to add a little to my stash. I greeted the mallam sitting in front of his kiosk. He didn't reply and after repeating myself, a friend of his shouted "eh!" and he awoke. I didn't realise he had been asleep because of the way he was sitted practically upright with his feet stretched out a little.

"Good evening Oga, do you have Okin shortcake"
"Yes, I do"
"How much is it"
"3 for twenty naira"
"OK. Let me have 6"
The man did not appear to have heard me. He is just sitting there not doing anything until the other mallam (maybe his friend?) also sitting in his stall shouts "eeh!" - apparently the man had fallen asleep (again).
So he manages to put 6 packets in a plastic bag and hand it to me. He the picked up his "change cardboard box", fished out my change consisting of 3 twenty naira notes and then goes into suspended animation again wit the notes in his hand.
His friend shouts "eeh!" again and he wakes up and hands the change over to me.
I laughingly commented that he must really be very tired to which he readily agreed.

16/12/2005

  Time and flight (Virgin Nigeria)

  Just got back from a training trip to learn all about Veritas Cluster Server (VCS). My return trip to the country was quite interesting. Read the detailed description here (read more ...)

12/12/2005

  Social Commentary

  The future of this country is not the bourgeoisie; it is not the rich few neither is it the powerbrokers;
The future of this country is not wandering hallowed halls of great institutions of learning; it is not digesting tomes nor presenting papers;
The future of this country can be seen in the bus parks; loitering on the streets; hanging around the airports;
The future of this country is busy maiming and pillaging

Man dominates man to his own injury ...

For it is the masses that are the future of any country ...
and the masses of this country are going to the dogs ...

(written 10/09/2005 after going to the Airport to mail an application package)

  Of bikes and bikemen

  OK. So I went to DHL in Ikoyi to collect a pair of International passports (yes, thank God the VISA requests were granted). So I got on a bike and told the biker that he should go gently as I want to get to my office in one piece. So the guy takes off and soon he pulls over beside one big gutter (I was about to ask him what the matter was) and said "oga, se you say you won piss." "No, I meant get me to my office without any injuries - whole bodied". Got to my office without a single scratch.

(28/11/2005)

  A little Wisdom

  A little word of wisdom: "When you have a chance to keep your mouth shut - take advantage of it"

It seems I will start carrying around a little black book with me now. So that whenever I meet someone (new, friend or acquaintance) I will first whip out the book, look up the guy (or gals) name and only, yes only shake the person's hand if his/her name does not turn up in the book. So what is the book for? Well, anyone who uses the toilet and refuses to wash his/her hands afterwards. While it would be easy for me to populate the male part of the book, I would need help with the female part.

I am not a neat fellow - you need only see my room, but I believe that some level of hygiene should be maintained especially when it comes to things such as ones health and hands. Who knows, you may be eating sausages with your bare hands the next minute after shaking that guys hand!

So when someone offers me his hand, I whip out the little black book, see his name in there and say "sorry, no can do. How do you do. My hands are full"

I have an hypothesis that it may be safe enough to shake everybody's hands before 10am in the morning.

(28/11/2005)

  Singles

  Never in a thousand years would I have gone to one of those singles programme if it was left to me, but then ... Ok, my mum had already paid a thousand naira for my ticket, so in order not to waste the money, I though "what the ..." it couldn't be that bad after all. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against such programmes and I sometimes watch Pastor Bimbo Odukoya doing her thing on TV and I tell you it can be quite interesting. Anyway, there I was in a group of about 10 individuals. I probably wouldn't have said anything but for the decision by the anchour that everyone would talk going round in a round robin version. I think most of my comments was on the issue of 2 individuals with AS genotype deciding to go it by faith and getting married. I am of course against it since most people's faith are not strong enough to guarantee that God would give them kids with AS or AA blood. And I have heard of saddening cases where all the kids of various couple turn out with SS blood, and the resultant problems when the family moved from one "crises" to another.
After a while "we" went back to one big room where 2 people from each group made up a panel to discuss all the various issues touched during the subgroup sessions. Afterwards, we were re-divided into a few much larger groups for more discussions. The one injunction was to mix and that if you meet anyone you have the slightest interest in, don't wait for the pastor before you exchange contact details. Infact, if the interest is only one-sided you were to go ahead and give the other person your details - that then puts the burden on the person to contact you and if he/she doesn't at least you know you had done your best. In the subsequent sessions while various more intimate questions were being asked and pondered, I noticed a young girl that appeared to be part of the "staff"  may be the pastor's assistant. Well, having scanned the participants body before with nothing to prick my interest, I had at last found someone I could definitely "consider". So from then one, I was bust scheming how I would hand over the little personal detail form that was handed out previously to her - I don't believe the pastors injunction covered her but hey! There were only 2 problems - one, I had turned down the card while in the hall since I didn't really believe there was anyone in that crowd of over 70 people I would willingly give my details to; and two, how was I going to pull it off. One thing at a time though. first, I secured one of those (now) elusive bitsy forms, and quickly filled it. Then, I kept a sharp look out for her while pretending to be interested in the going-on in my group (see one story below). By the time, we were through it was getting dark, and I found out that she was talking to a group of boys and girls - probably friends. I "loitered" around and when she appeared to be briefly free, took the plunge.
"Hi, do you work here"
"Not exactly, I am a member of the church. I am serving in Benin at the moment, but home on a short break, and I am helping out with the programme"
A few other general questions and then as I was about to say bye, my hand came up and I guess she was expecting a handshake which was good because I just slipped the piece of paper into her hand instead.
"That's my contact details. You may call me or if you like, just destroy the paper"
With that, I turned on my heels and legged it out of there.

I guess she took me up on my second offer - I never heard from her.

Now to that story told by one of the participants. She was asked why she wasn't yet married. She said she and the man had been together probably 5 to 8 years, but that the guy said he would only get married after he has built his own house and acquired 2 cars and that about 5 years later he still hadn't realised any of his "dreams" and that she was fed up of waiting for him which is why she found herself attending the programme.

One can't blame the poor girl!

(19/11/2005)

  Guilty by participation

  I was chilling in a little recess created in the hedge bordering the road. From the amount of police activity just up the road, it seems someone is taking delivery of a lot of cash. Suddenly, I was confronted by a couple of armed men with a pistol pointing in my face and the person welding it possessing all the intention to shoot. I begged them and said that I would "corporate" with them. They agreed, stepped out and soon after the fireworks began. Some minutes later they were back along with a close friend called Tope. From his enthusiasm i wasn't sure whether he was  cooperating under duress or not. In fact, after seeing the bag of money i was becoming enthusiastic myself. For some reason, it seems I knew the area very well, so I told them that if they could make it across the open field on which the hedge bordered into the forest behind that, they should be able to make good their getaway. all made it across. I got up to see what was going on and there were my father and younger brother more or less with the police on the open field. It seems my father was helping the police search for the money while my brother for some reason had been given the bag of money which had been placed in a traveling bag. And he was just hanging around on the field with the bag half open! I gestured frantically for him to get going all the while trying not to draw the attention of the police to him or myself. He then tried to hug my dad as if to indicate that he would be going away for a while, but he was brushed off and told to just go. He seemed to have snapped after that and he just started to also look round on the field for the missing money while I was besides myself with worry!

OK. It was all just a dream, but I practically woke up with the frustration of seeing him so close to the police with the bag in his shoulder.

(26/10/2005)

  Just the way it is ...

  There is no more beach on the Barbeach - just a strip of sand pounded relentlessly by the ocean.

The man on my left has got his trouser legs rolled up to his knees, he appears to be praying. We are all looking for solutions; the rich also cry so what option does the poor have.

The man on my right is smoking. he's got the lighted cigarette in the the cup of his palm. Smoking is no longer an acceptable vice. Science is doing all it can to keep us alive so we have all found vices that don't kill as easily. In my father's time smoking was a fashion or class statement.

I looked across the bay at the ships anchored in the harbour. It would be nice to be able to forget all my cares and just sail away for a couple of weeks maybe as a deckhand - but the age of innocence has passed and I have got responsibilities now.

I will spend 30 minutes then go back home.

A group of 8 kids walked past. They were so dirty, the wind from the ocean wafted their "smell" up to me.

2 riders on a horse sped by, one of them singing Reggae - "... if you smoke weed you will get high..." How I high I wondered and for how long?

I called Tope this afternoon and he told me that Stella is dead, and that 118 people went down in Oyo on a Bellview airplane. He said I should go and switch on my TV and listen to the news. I replied that I have had light for about 2 days. He said I should go and put on the generator. I told him I will wait and hopefully NEPA will return the power supply. 

Sometime one wonders "what is the point of it all"

I believe every person should have 2 plans: the long term "I will live forever" plan, and a short checkout plan that acknowledges the fact that no one has control over anything plan.

The man on my left runs towards the waves one last time, bending down he scoops up some of the salt water and drinks it.

I have spent 30 minutes. I will go home now. If there is still no light, I will put on the generator and hopefully NEPA will return the power supply soon.

 

Epilogue: The following day I learnt the following:
Stella died as a result of complications from a liposuction procedure he underwent.
The plane was about 24 years old. Also, a family member told me that at about 8:45pm on the faithful day, she was in an area quite close to the airport and that when a plan flew overhead sputtering like it was grinding stones together in its engine, she and a friend looked up in concern and that with the details of the planes flight revealed now, it was most certainly the crashed plane.

My final comments: it is well known that all surgical procedures no matter how simple carry some risk and that the likelihood of complication increases with the patients age. Ultimately, the best method of looking and feeling good is to stick to  a good exercise regime. I am sure this will make anybody thinking of the same procedure think twice. While I don't know her personally, I still feel sorry for her - it is not a good way to go. I was going to change the title of this entry to "How Stella lost her groove" but on second thoughts ...

Nigerians treat planes like they treat their commercial buses. They seem to forget that there is one fundamental difference between a plane and a bus: if a bus develops problems on the road, the driver can pull over to the curb, either sort out the problem or let the passengers "find their levels" at it is said. But with a plane, their is no pulling over, "all go down." Maybe if the plane had turned back early enough, it might have made it to land safely. It is surprising that pilots would risk their own lives for their corporations knowing the full implication of a failed plane in the sky. Maybe Nigerians should start being alert and demanding as a body that a plane that sounds or performs awfully on take off should be returned to the landing strip at once - even if it means hijacking the plane!

Once I boarded a plane at Kano airport going to Lagos. At first there was a little delay and we noticed that the cabin was sort of hot. We then took off and within minutes the plane became so hot that people started fanning themselves. After a few minutes in the air, the pilot realised that there was no way he could make the journey to Lagos with the plane in that shape - it also appeared that the problem was starting to affect the engines. We turned back and were kept in the airless cabin for about 30 minutes while the airline's mechanics tried to sort out the problem with the plane's cooling system. We took off afterwards with the cabin  temperature just bearable - the idea was to get the plane to Lagos where they could take a better look at the problem. I noticed quite a few people mumbling prayers under their breath that the plane should make it safely to Lagos.

I suspect there were people doing the same on the ill-fated plane. Maybe there are just times when we should act and not pray, but that is the benefit of hindsight.

I was looking through the manifest of the flight and came across a name that I know. While only the initial of the firstname was listed, I became quite worried, of course their could be lots of people of the same gender with the same Initial and the same marital status in Lagos - I hope so. On a lighter note, a customer of my sister's firm who was supposed to be on the flight but didn't make it can be presumed as one of the living-dead as his name appeared on the manifest. As someone pointed out, in other countries contact would have been established with the family members and obvious errors such as this would have been either flagged or avoided.

(25/10/2005)

  The psychology of Marketing

  I stepped out of my office building tonight with the hope that the people selling the nice plantain chips were still around. I could see the two of them sitting more or less next to each other, each one with a table on which was stacked neatly bagged plantain chips.

I automatically stopped at the first table since it was closer to me.

As I picked up a packet of chips, the girl stood up to attend to me with a nice smile on her face.

I picked up another pack and then she goes "No. Take the fresh ones. You work in Vmobile right? I know my customers. So when you come ask from me eh?"

When she saw that I was not sure which was fresh and which wasn't, she actually took the pack from me and selected 2 by herself and put them in a polythene bag.
I bought the 2 packs and moved on and I thought about everything she did right which may make the difference between a thriving business and one gone burst.

1. Location - now this could have been purely by chance, but she was closer to the office gates than her mate so the likelihood that she would take the lionshare of the market is almost a given.

2. She stood up and acknowledged my importance as a potential customer. And we all like to be acknowledged.

3. She showed an interest in what I was doing whereas she could just have sat there like a member of the M.U.M.U. or just starred at me like I was just another Martian from outer space.  After all, how many packs did I buy - just 2 which equals N200 which won't take her home anyway.

4. She had a smile on her face. That automatically makes one welcome. The expression on some peoples face alone would not make a dog go near them.

5. She offered help without my having to ask - she was proactive.

6. She didn't miss an opportunity to make a sales pitch i.e., she said "so when next you come ask from me eh." She is making an assumption that a satisfied would return again and again.

With all that I left her stand with a smile on my face too. Now she could have been fobbing off her stale chips on me under the pretext of selling me the fresh ones. But even with all that, assume I got home to find the chips stale, I would still have been inclined to think that she made a mistake rather than thinking the worst and consigning all her generation to some unmentionable place.

Now that is a good salesperson, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this piece with a smile on my face, would I?

(11/10/2005)

  Knights in shining armour

  While it is not a fact, the shining-armour thingie probably went out with Conan or is it King Arthur?.
(read more ...)

(09/10/2005)

  Of languages and men

  Today I had to hurry to work to fix some problems on a server. I got on a bike and just at the next juncture, the biker saw an acquaintance of his coming in the opposite direction on a bike by way of greeting the says "weere". If you are Yoruba, you probably wont think nothing of it since peers sometimes call each order by all sorts of names. But this guy is definitely Hausa. So it just confirms the belief that the easiest thing one picks up in any language are the curse words.

(Weere - means madman)

(09/10/2005)

  The reunion  ...

  I was a bit apprehensive when I learnt that she might show up. There was some relief and a glimmer of hope when I later learnt that her husband had to go to work. Then almost at the end of the ceremony another friend informed "us" that the husband was on the way - I guess that meant she would soon be along too. The reunion was "easier" than I expected. I guess you can hide any emotion behind a well-placed laugh anytime.
There is a certain carriage; a certain charm; a certain refinement; that is not taught - some just possess it.

(08/10/2005)

  Up the creek ...

  There I was up the proverbial creek without a paddle. I had managed to lock myself out the the "house." My house has a burglarproof gate just at the foot of the stairs that goes to the first floor. And having just come back from barbing my hair, I went upstairs, took off shoes and trousers, dropped everything including the keys to the padlock for the gate. I went back downstairs with the intention of watching some TV. Normally, I just put the padlock in place without actually locking it, but for some reason my hand just went all the way this time, and as I heard the click, I went "darn!" in my mind. So there I was in my boxers and the very bleak chance that this Saturday, I might not be getting upstairs anytime soon. At first, I tried to pick the lock (naive me, I had read a few pages on lock picking). As it turned out, no luck with this lock! Then I considered going to some mechanics a couple of streets away, maybe they can cut the padlock - then I remembered that I only had on a shirt, a pair of boxers and no shoes. So I tried  calling my sister and her husband and the call refused to go through. The next option was the possibility of a very tiny neighborhood kid going through the grill of the burglarproof gate, but it was too fine, and oh my, what big heads all the kids in the neighborhood have!
Then I received an inspiration, I remembered that I had left the second bunch of keys on my bed, maybe ... just maybe. Soon with the help of a few of those "gifted"  neighborly kids, I had our metal ladder up against my window. The bunch of keys was in plain sight at the foot of the bed. That meant I needed a stick about 6 foot long with which to maneuver the thing and hopefully not drop it while trying to retrieve it through the burglarproof outside the window. I ended up tying a short thin stick to a much longer plastic water pipe. With much prayers under my breath, I was able to retrieve the keys. And there was joy on earth again.

You though that was awesome. No, something similar happened about 4 months back. Before my sister got married and moved out, she once locked her keys up too. I had left the house for a while and thinking that she wouldn't be going out, I didn't take my keys with me. The awesome thing here is that while my own bed is against the window, hers is a mile away on the other side of the room. So she pioneered the window stunt back then by using a very long flexible stick to retrieve her keys from off the bed.
Now I have hidden the spare keys safely downstairs so I wouldn't find myself ever again in the same position!

(01/10/2005)

  The Twins

  I was skimming through "True Love West Africa" this morning when I came across an article on Twins (no it's not mine, no I don't make an habit of reading it. In fact, it belongs to my Aunt). What struck me immediately was the resemblance of one of female half of a particular twin to someone I know quite well. I looked at the name without too much focus and for some reason my mind interpreted it along the line of "Adelugba." I thought to myself that definitely, the girl must be from the same area as my "acquaintance." As I continued reading the story, it suddenly dawned on me that these were the Adegbuluge twins! I looked again at their surname and couldn't quite understand why I didn't "see" it in the first place. There "guys" were Mrs. Sonaike's younger siblings. (By the way, that would be the second slimsadiee huh?)
Nice story though. It's easy to see that good "teeth" runs in the family :-)
And the par about Kehinde hitting his head on a tree branch and knocking himself out - why, that is the stuff bestsellers are made of!
I am sure there must be some squabbling about who is the youngest (even though neither of them mentioned it)

(29/09/2005)

  Book Launch !  Book Launch! Book Launch! ! ! !

  My aunt Mrs. P. A. Ogundipe is launching her autobiography on the 22nd of September 2005. If you happen to be in Lagos, help make it the literary event of the year! She wrote the "Practical English" and "Brighter Grammar" school book series. So will all the people she has helped master the English language please stand up? (That's good, I can see the whole house is on its feet :-)

And ahem, about my English, there is only one logical explanation. English in its true form ceased to be taught in the secondary school I attended just the "term" before I started class one ... :-) OK, that's a little exaggerated.

See scan of I.V

(16/09/2005)

  Menace to society . . .

  Waiting for a bike after the "chat", I see a bike man having problems with his bike a couple of blocks away. I started walking in his direction on my way to the adjacent street. He finally managed to start the bike. I walked past him as he started to rev it. At the same time hold on to the handlebars of the bike while on his feet beside the bike, he increased the rev. As he did so the bike started picking up speed, he contniued revving the bike furiously and running with the bike. I stooped and looked after him - knowing that soemthing was definitely going to give soon. Now hes was practically running with the bike and I could see he was losing control of it as the bike was starting to go off at an angle to wards the kerb. the next minute the bike fell on its side taking the okada rider with it. Both were dragged a few feet with tsparks flying all over the man and the bike. When the bike cane to a stop, he got up, stood the bike upright and started dusting himself. I am sure he must have more than scratches on his body. How crazy can one get?

May be I should have gone back and taken a good look at his face. So that next time we cross paths, I will know to politely turn down his services!

(20/09/2005)

  What didn't get said during the "chat"

  At last it was my turn. I walked in and looking up he noticed my left hand did a double-take (they all do and I guess it is natural). I almost didn't see it as it was almost imperceptible - he was that good. But with my years of experience, I did see it - perhaps I am paranoid - no, not on this issue.
I spent the whole of 3 minutes before he let me go. That must be the years record for shortest chat award.
On my way out he asked about the interview and I said it was OK, but I was quite surprised at the shortness of the "session". He told me to come see him after I took my Linux certification exam.
I (almost) knew why he let me off so easily (he asked me the same question). On my way out I was almost sure. It was a combination of factors: he was tired. The day was far spent, then there was the issue of the hand. In his position, I might have thought to myself, "Gees I am tired. I think I should let him off easy. Besides, he is a level 5ver, so what is his standing in the real scheme of things. I am sure he would appreciate it too - me letting him go easy that is. Yes that is what I will do. I should be getting home anyway"

Yes, maybe I did appreciate it. On the other hand, it brings up certain inappropriate feelings and thoughts to my mind - I didn't like it - the reasons are just wrong. The "special" treatment. I do not like interviews - I go blank just before it starts. Yes, I remember a colleague and a friend telling me before I went in, "Tunde, sell yourself. Sell, sell and sell yourself. You never know what can happen." For me that is easier said than done. I could probably sell an e1 IP-circuit to a fishmonger with very little effort, but ask me to sell myself . . . that is another matter.

Don't get me wrong, he is definitely a good guy and widely-read.

I know he reads a lot. I do too. I love I.T. I love experimenting - seeing what works and how to get things working. I would have loved an informal chat with him -say a 3some. Then I could drop terms like virtualization, ethernet bonding, dynamic reconfiguration, emulation, DLPAR, Xen, EMC/Vmware, Microsoft (Connectix) VPC. Server consolidation, SUN containers, etc . . .  but that didn't happen. Instead I thanked him, bid him good night and headed into the Lagos night :-(

(20/09/2005)

  I am not . . .

  Like all my forebears before me, I declare that I am not a one-trick pony. I am gifted by God. I am imbued in more ways than I know. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I will turn my talents into the vehicle of my success. I will dine with kings. I will be great. I am not a one-trick pony . . .
(17/09/2005)

  That last button . . .

  I have come to the conclusion that the position of that last button (yes, the topmost button) on ladies shirts are moved strategically downwards by the wearer for maximum "killer" impact. I mean, I have seen some that is nothing short of ridiculous. They may come like that on catwalks but certainly not on the average person walking the streets. I have asked someone about it but I didn't get a satisfactory answer. So the question, young ladies is "do you take a blade and a needle to your shirts after purchase and shift the button's position downwards?"
(14/09/2005)

little ninja

 

  The greatest disservice a man can render to himself is to half-believe in God. God is not pleased; man wonders why nothing is happening and the only happy party is the Devil

Sidekick

  May be I have got this wrong? It seems when you see two girls moving closely together, one is a stunner and the other is her sidekick? Is it some inner need by the sidekick to associate with a more perfect "figure" (figuratively speaking) and hopefully some of the shine would rub off on her? Or is it just that 2 beautiful girls would naturally drift apart due to the innate desire to be the only belle of the ball?
Please correct me if I have got the wrong end of the stick ...
02/09/2005 (1:21am)

Thy works

  Proverbs 16:3 says "commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established."
Why didn't it say the opposite i.e., "commit thy thoughts unto the LORD, and thy works shall be established."? Because that would have implied a lazy man can fold his hands (just pray to God that's all!) and thy works (clothing, money, food, cars, etc) shall come into being! Oops, not with this GOD - you gotta work, then he will give you grace in excess (Psalm 23:5b - "thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over") And if you are throughly willing to work, that is some form of humbleness so, James 4:6b - "Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble")
 
02/09/2005 (1:17am)                                                                   

Save Oh Father

  Play the clip. That's me exercising my voice box at 1:am in the morning

02/09/2005                                                                     

747  ... booooorrrriiiiing!

  A colleague asked another colleague in the office why he was "O'n boyin be 747". He meant why was he smiling to himself. The Yoruba phrase above is a play on the Boeing 747 to something like "smiling like a 747"
25/08/2005

The bus driver

  Yesterday on my way to Marina I boarded a bus half filled with guys and the news I saw the previous night crossed my mind. It was about the "one chance" buses. I took care to sit close to the door, but after a while having told myself that I am a son of the King and that it is unlikely for "them" to operate in V/I together with the benign look of the driver I relaxed a little. Just in front of the Silverbird emporium, a taxi-cab pulled away from the curb and we nearly ran into him. The busdriver stepped on hi brakes, pull up beside the taxi and said "Oloshi. Armed robber!" One of the passengers in the bus added to the taxidriver "Baba, eti ya were sir o!"
Well, I got to my destination, called the man only to discover he wasn't back in the office. I jumped on a bike to CMS to board a bus going back to V/I. This time I sat in front next to the driver and as soon as he started the bus, I noticed there was something familiar about him - he looked like the same driver that drove the bus I took to CMS. I looked back at the "conductor" but I wasn't so sure about him. The next minute a bus went into reverse ahead of us and nearly backed into "our" bus. The driver shouted "Oloshi! Armed robber" -  well I had my answer :-)
22/08/2005

Congratulations !!!!

  There is not one perfect person on earth - no, not one. But there are a few people walking the earth that are close enough. One such person got married last weekend. This is saying congratulations to the latest couple in town - the "Sonaikes". May God bless the union in all the ways only He can. Hidden riches of secret places and secret riches of hidden places may he grant the couple aplenty. Amen!

And following Mr Albert Campion's lead (in "The Question Mark"), I will now cross the madam's name off my private list entitled "Elegant Young Persons Whom I Ought to Take to Lunch" and write it neatly at the top of my "People I Must Send Christmas Cards to" folder.

21/08/2005


Just men?.

  There is a bank a couple of blocks away from my house, and every morning while walking to the main road to catch a bike to work, I have to pass the car drivers of the bank by the road. It seems they are always discussing about their "conquests" or some girl that is still proving hard to get. I mean these are married men with kids at home! I was going to quickly condemn them, but soon realised that it wasn't much better where I work. It seems all men are born equal when it comes to certain things. We are all men of impure thoughts with evil intent seeking naive conquests.
18/08/2005

This morning . . .

  It was one of those mornings. I was woken up by my Uncle at 7:30am - it seems his Windows desktop (mot his MAC Mini or his Windows lappy) had decided to start Bluescreening (If you use Windows and you don't know what a BOD is, you don't wanna find out - it also means you must be a very lightweight user - probably just playing solitaire and minesweeper on the thing - good for you. Ok, with time against me, I fixed the BOD problem only to be remember that I was supposed to help my aunt hotsync her Sony Clie to her laptop. In between brushing my teeth, taking my bath, and dressing up I did the sync and was only 4 minutes late to work - how about that for performance? It's a KPA issue!
17/08/2005

The exam . . .

  The venue for the exam was quite far. I hitched a ride and that still took some time. Finally, I was close enough. I got off and then legged it through some brambles, and trees to the venue. The venue was one of those tiered rooms like the typical University lecture room. We settled down and after a while the exam started - it was an hour long exam. It was then I discovered that I didn't not have any answer booklet on my desk. I rushed to the back to get another seat. The desk also did not have any answer booklet. I noticed an answer booklet on the next desk that had already been used - and was about 3 pages full. That's highly unlikely, unless the owner came in with some "chips.". I rushed down to the front again, and sat beside someone who was busy sleeping! No answer booklet on that desk either. Turned and tried to shake the guy awake and discovered that it was Kenneth (a consultant from an application development company I knew!) I rushed to another desk and finally found a usable answer booklet. I opened it and was about to start work when my boss called (phone) . . .  and woke up.
It was about 6:50am, I tried to make my voice sound clear so that he wouldn't guess that I was still asleep.
"Hello sir."
"Hello Tunde. The customer just called me now. Make sure you get to the office early today and stay on top of the situation. I will be late to the office. Please keep me posted. . . . "
I had a good mind to tell him that I was in the office until 10pm the previous night, but I didn't say anything. He was right as usual: "only result is rewarded; effort is not"

The CEO Roadshow  . . .

  As I watched people rushing to get to the venue before the stated time, it dawned on me that if people feared God just half as much as they feared men, this world would be a much better place. It appears the problem is not that people do not fear God; It's much deeper than that. If people truly believe that God exist and that He is all-seeing and all-knowing, then many of the things we do that are against the laws of men and/or God wouldn't get done. Yes, we all confess with our mouth that we believe in God, but do we really truly deeply believe? No, I guess not.
(22-July-05)

Good food can Kill . . .

  I came across a lady walking along the road today and the only thing that came to my mind was "good food can kill!" (read more ...)

How to Know a Nigerian . . . a.ka. Nigerians can't sing

  Airport Immigration Dept.

Custom Officer (CO): Mr. Ajanlekoko, we have reason to believe that you are not really a Nigerian even though it appears that the passport you have in your possession is genuine.
Person: Haba, I am a Nigerian to the core
CO - in order not to delay you too much, we will just make you take a very simple test which works all the time. Please sing the National Anthem
Person - Arise O ...  (he proceeded to sing the national anthem without missing a note or word)
CO - I can see you know the . . . .
Person - (cutting in) Please I haven't finished. Let me sing the original version too.
CO - you know that one too?
Person - yes (very proud of himself)
CO - there is no need. You did very well with the "new" version. I am afraid we know for sure now that you are not a Nigerian.
Person - how can you say that?
CO - 2 good reasons. You are not up to 40 years of age, more important, you know the national anthem in full by heart.
CO - no true Nigerian nowadays can get past the 3rd line of the first stanza.

(Ayotunde - 22-July-2005)

Blue River

 

I set to thinking what it was that made me do the things I do (read more)


Revelation 13:18

 

Wisdom is needed to understand this. (read more ...)


Social Life

 

I Hmm. How come this section is blank?


Best of the Rest

 

If you have any computing project you want handled professionally, by all means check out my business page. Check my Blog if you are interested in how I spend my day. Everything else goes on the Best of the Rest page. Friends, utilities, interests, colleagues etc. I think that about covers it, but if there is anything else you need to know, please contact me.

[Home][About Myself][Favorites][Photos][Links][Contact Me]

Copyright (c) 2004 Uridium Systems. All rights reserved.

itayemi.at.yahoo.com