Of Dogs and Drinks
I am finally convinced that the mongrel with which I currently share the house
has found a way to get into the house in my absence. Not only that, it must have
found a way past the locked iron gate that separates the ground floor from the
upper level of the house; then found the key into the locked study where all the
alcoholic drinks are kept. I can't find a better explanation for its eyes which
are permanently bloodshot. And that knowing look it sometimes gives me - "as if
to say I know what you did last summer..."|
I think the only thing to do in this kind of situation is . . . .
"... to ask the dog where it got the keys!" Then we can both have one hell of a
The plane was quite full and shortly before we started the descent to land, a
flight attendant went round distributing VNL face-caps and T-shirts. I stuffed
mine into the back of the seat in front of me. Then suddenly the plane lost
control and it was clear we were going to crash. I was a little nervous and
started repeating the words "Jesus take my soul" - that's all I could think of -
if I was going to die, I wanted to make heaven. Others joined and started
repeating the same words. There was some hysteria of course. I believe Akintunde
was on the plane as well. The plane crashed - crash landed on top of a tall
building - hanging precariously by its landing gear.
And it the way of such things I found myself standing in the large space in
front of the building at ground level starring up at the unbelievably
balanced plane. Soon I along with others started making our way up the flight of
stairs in the building. we were heading for the roof and the plane so as to get
our things. The building looked suspiciously like my office but while my office
was only 4 floors, this building was probably about 20 floors high. Son after
retrieving out stuff from the plane, I was back at ground level in a car heading
with others to the car pack. Akintunde was in the car too. We were of course
talking about the plane, the free T-shirts etc.
The following are facts:
Free T-shirts and caps were handed out at my office that day
The building next to my office is quite tall
I think I was given a ride by a colleague along with Akintunde to the car park
after work the same day
Probably my tired brain mixing occurrences from the day up in the dream I had
during the night!
That word . . .
"There goes my son. I am very proud of the boy . . ." - something any father
might say about his son and with good reason too.|
But that word "proud" or pride. That really spoils it - though it has become
accepted in everyday use such as "I am a proud African" etc
But the Bible states twice that God resists the proud and gives grace to the
humble (put bible quotes)
Let' see how God says the same thing such as an earthly father would say about
his son when talking about Jesus. Matthew x.xx says "this is my son in whom I am
well pleased). See the substitution? God substituted the goo word "pleased" for
"proud" even though the statement can be loosely translated "this is my son; my
pride and joy." and as the saying goes, the trouble with humility is that you
can't brag about it!
The Word of God
It seems some people are taking the Word of God too literarily. Yes He said you
should multiply - but that doesn't mean you should triple your size! It means
you should reproduce (after your kind - i.e., create some lil' piccaninies :-)|
Remembering Folarin George
I can't say I knew you Folarin, but I heard you were big, quiet and gentle just
like your brother Big George.|
I know your loving family will miss you. But time will pass and one day we will
all be together to part no more.
So there I was sitting by the driver waiting for the taxi to fill up.|
There was already a man in the back and soon two ladies joined us
and we were on our merry way to Iwo Road (me enroute to Lagos)
First Lady (FL): ... I will get Mosun to help me buy the cloth at the house
Second Lady (SL): I don't think I know her.
FL: I am sure you do.
SL: Is she the dark one I sometimes see you with?
FL: She has a very good fashion taste but unfortunately she is not fine.
The beautiful ones are not yet born and the ugly ones refuse to die
... eh eh eh!
SL: Her boyfriend is not fine but he is educated
SL: So she says she doesn't even want a fine boy (for a boyfriend)
FL: Who ask he "story"
SL: She just started telling me o!
FL: She encourages all those boys to take her out and buy her free lunch
and drinks. But as soon as her boyfriend calls, she starts to frown at them.
FL: . . . the boy is not fine.
SL: But John is more ugly than him . . . eh eh eh (more laughter)
... other stories of husband's families and mother-in-laws and not showing any
Yoruba-type respect to in-laws that are either semi-literate and/or younger than
the girls .... etc
Bow to the females of the specie!
My case Your Honour
I had a major altercation with a colleague today over a minor issue.|
It appears his unit had been storing backups on a server which the application
owner (owner of the server) asked my unit to reinstall (total overwrite). Anyway
some guys in his unit found out the deed had been done and asked me about it. I
explained that the backups were gone but it should be possible to allocate them
some new space on the newly installed server where they can then commence
putting fresh backups. That was that. We discussed like true gentlemen with no
raised voice - amiably.
So I went back to my seat and some fifteen minutes later the Big Guy storms up
to my area of the office and started giving me sh--t. Talking about how
"courtesy demanded that I inform them ... "
Well, I told him that the application owner who made the request and gave the go
ahead is a member of his unit to which he replied that how much do I expect the
person to know etc. I replied that I couldn't be expected to know everything
either. He started raising his voice and I started doing the same. He got so
worked up in his righteous anger that he hit the cubicle divider so hard it sent
a mug flying off the table (not my table; not my mug). Then he stormed off to
his desk. At that point some other colleagues in the office had to say that we
"take it easy."
The H.O.D. came later (in part due to the commotion) and parted me on the back
and told me to calm down. I jokingly told him that he was talking to the wrong
person as he should be asking the guy that wanted to break the table to calm
Some part of me wished he had broken a few fingers when he hit the table. It
would have served him right! But he is a big guy so no luck there. There is a
saying in Yoruba along the line of the reasoning that reaction should be
commensurate with action - "kila gbe, kile ju" - say you abuse someone and the
next thing he does is pull out a gun with the intention of gunning you down;
that is taking things too far!
I heard him mumbling to his team mates that "it wasn't my fault, if not that we
were working together in the same place..." This of course, is a derogatory
comment meaning that if not for work, I probably wouldn't be in his
vicinity/class etc. To which I mentally went "who does he think he is?"
I try very had to accommodate everybody but in truth you can't be all things to
all people. With the previous paragraph in my, the saying that "the trouble with
humility is that you can't boast about it" comes to mind. As my pastors says,
people are just proud and it doesn't matter whether rich or poor. The good book
also says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. We were both
proud and so is a lot of people. I try, truly I do.
The facts of the case (he had no case by the way):
1. The application/server owner requested the change
2. The application/server owner is a member of his unit
3. The onus is on him to ensure that the server's owner knew of his using the
server as a backup dump
4. The server is not live. If the server had been live, I would almost certainly
have involved him more actively and we wouldn't just have accepted a verbal
request to reinstall the server. In fact, there is due process (along with
signed documentation ) to be followed for live servers.
5. The affected data are just backups. Yes, there is a chance that Murphy's law
will kick in and any of those backups may be needed, but if as I had discussed
with his team members, we create some space and they start to take fresh backups
now, the chances are that within a day or two, they would have backups of all
the servers in their charge. In fact, these same backups that were "lost" have
almost certainly been copied to tape, so what was his problem?
He must have called my immediate boss who then called me. My boss agreed with me
totally. So instead of creating some space, I read my mails, packed up my
computer and headed for home! Good luck to him :-)
Passed him on the bike while he was walking to the car park. He was still
grumbling to a team mate about the issue. Considering the size of him, I hope he
does have a heart attack. Serious, I mean it (that is I truly feel concerned
enough to hope he doesn't)
So he called about an hour and a half later to explain and apologize. He was
just concerned about what would have happened if something had gone wrong with
any of the systems and there had been no backups to turn to ...
Time to Remember
In all things and at all times, give thanks.
We blossom and flourish as leaves on the tree, and wither and perish - but Oh Lord nought changeth thee.
Knocking on heaven's door
Wyclef Jean: "knock, knock, knocking on the heavens doors . . . for Biggie
Smalls and Tu Pac . . ."|
If we are to be realistic about the issue, one is likely to be knocking on
hell's barbed gates if one goes out in a blaze of gunfire (instead of a blaze of
glory) like Smalls and Tu Pac did. But the myth is that everyone that dies goes
to heaven and bad things may not be said about dead people.
I boarded a bus this afternoon . . .|
The bus conductor: all these passenger wey I carry are all aroro people. I know
them. Na for this hour I dey carry them. Them go full bustop and when you stop
for them, the first thing dem go ask a "elo ni"
Busr Driver: "awon eloni"
Bus conductor: "E be like se dem dey go school for the thing"
"Na the money wey someone go pay from Apongbongon to Ojuelegba na hin dem go wan
pay from V/I to Ojuelegba.
Word for Today
You can not be sure of when you will leave, but you can be certain where you are
In Remembrance ...
I have seen death at the window biding his time while the babe being christened
gurgled in the crib.|
I have heard a mother's cry; a widow's lament; a child in distress; a lover's
I have heard of a call too soon; a call at noon; and goings at full moon;
Should this stop us from:
No I think not.
Could days, months and years be given by one to another, I know you will give.
Instead let us live as it is said
as if today were our last and plan as if we would live forever.
Let us speak words of love; express the passion that makes us human;
It is true that one cannot feel another's pain no matter the effort.
Death where is thy sting
As David declared " I shall not die but live and declare the works of HIS hands.
So shall we in this world no matter how brief, and surely in the world to come
. . . forever and ever . . .
. . . Amen
"I will see you in a bit"
(In remembrance of the father of a friend whose surname starts with the same
letter as mine. Though I knew him not, his family did - as surely as I know
The Real Santa
The following is what a 9-year old boy had to say about the Santa Claus in his
"The real Santa died in 1996. The Santa in my school is our gateman, we saw him
being dressed. Besides, the presents didn't come from a bag, they were from
cartons. We heard that 2 teachers in our school went to the market to buy them."
Who says children don't believe in Santa? They just know when they are being
taken for a ride :-)
I was watching a programme on TV yesterday. The herbal-medicine specialist that
was a guest said "Lemon grass is important. A woman that does not have it in her
house should be queried by her husband."|
Me thinks that is a lot of query that's about to get sent out. All you married
women without lemon grass at home, "you are just about to be served" :-)
Compliments of the season
Compliments of the season to everyone. Merry Xmas and happy new year.|
May the New Year be filled with God's mercies and blessings for everyone.
Went to watch King Kong yesterday night. Very nice film.|
A couple next to me at some point in the film made a comment about death to
which I have added a couple of lines.
The brave die young
The coward die many times
The poor die unsung
In the long run all die
So it's another Friday, I have got 4 packs of chips in my bag and on my way
home. I like to have something to munch while I watch TV or a film on my laptop.
At the kiosk on the corner, I decided to add a little to my stash. I greeted the
mallam sitting in front of his kiosk. He didn't reply and after repeating
myself, a friend of his shouted "eh!" and he awoke. I didn't realise he had been
asleep because of the way he was sitted practically upright with his feet
stretched out a little.|
"Good evening Oga, do you have Okin shortcake"
"Yes, I do"
"How much is it"
"3 for twenty naira"
"OK. Let me have 6"
The man did not appear to have heard me. He is just sitting there not doing
anything until the other mallam (maybe his friend?) also sitting in his stall
shouts "eeh!" - apparently the man had fallen asleep (again).
So he manages to put 6 packets in a plastic bag and hand it to me. He the picked
up his "change cardboard box", fished out my change consisting of 3 twenty naira
notes and then goes into suspended animation again wit the notes in his hand.
His friend shouts "eeh!" again and he wakes up and hands the change over to me.
I laughingly commented that he must really be very tired to which he readily
Time and flight (Virgin Nigeria)
Just got back from a training trip to learn all about Veritas Cluster Server
My return trip to the country was quite interesting. Read the detailed
(read more ...)|
The future of this country is not the bourgeoisie; it is not the rich few
neither is it the powerbrokers;|
The future of this country is not wandering hallowed halls of great institutions
of learning; it is not digesting tomes nor presenting papers;
The future of this country can be seen in the bus parks; loitering on the
streets; hanging around the airports;
The future of this country is busy maiming and pillaging
Man dominates man to his own injury ...
For it is the masses that are the future of any country ...
and the masses of this country are going to the dogs ...
(written 10/09/2005 after going to the Airport to mail an application package)
Of bikes and bikemen
OK. So I went to DHL in Ikoyi to collect a pair of International passports (yes,
thank God the VISA requests were granted). So I got on a bike and told the biker
that he should go gently as I want to get to my office in one piece. So the guy
takes off and soon he pulls over beside one big gutter (I was about to ask him
what the matter was) and said "oga, se you say you won piss." "No, I meant get
me to my office without any injuries - whole bodied". Got to my office without a
A little Wisdom
A little word of wisdom: "When you have a chance to keep your mouth shut - take
advantage of it"|
It seems I will start carrying around a little black book
with me now. So that whenever I meet someone (new, friend or acquaintance) I
will first whip out the book, look up the guy (or gals) name and only, yes only
shake the person's hand if his/her name does not turn up in the book. So what is
the book for? Well, anyone who uses the toilet and refuses to wash his/her hands
afterwards. While it would be easy for me to populate the male part of the book,
I would need help with the female part.
I am not a neat fellow - you need only see my room, but I believe that some
level of hygiene should be maintained especially when it comes to things such as
ones health and hands. Who knows, you may be eating sausages with your bare
hands the next minute after shaking that guys hand!
So when someone offers me his hand, I whip out the little black book, see his
name in there and say "sorry, no can do. How do you do. My hands are full"
I have an hypothesis that it may be safe enough to shake everybody's hands
before 10am in the morning.
Never in a thousand years would I have gone to one of those singles programme if
it was left to me, but then ... Ok, my mum had already paid a thousand naira for
my ticket, so in order not to waste the money, I though "what the ..." it
couldn't be that bad after all. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything
against such programmes and I sometimes watch Pastor Bimbo Odukoya doing her
thing on TV and I tell you it can be quite interesting. Anyway, there I was in a
group of about 10 individuals. I probably wouldn't have said anything but for
the decision by the anchour that everyone would talk going round in a round
robin version. I think most of my comments was on the issue of 2 individuals
with AS genotype deciding to go it by faith and getting married. I am of course
against it since most people's faith are not strong enough to guarantee that God
would give them kids with AS or AA blood. And I have heard of saddening cases
where all the kids of various couple turn out with SS blood, and the resultant
problems when the family moved from one "crises" to another.|
After a while "we" went back to one big room where 2 people from each group made
up a panel to discuss all the various issues touched during the subgroup
sessions. Afterwards, we were re-divided into a few much larger groups for more
discussions. The one injunction was to mix and that if you meet anyone you have
the slightest interest in, don't wait for the pastor before you exchange contact
details. Infact, if the interest is only one-sided you were to go ahead and give
the other person your details - that then puts the burden on the person to
contact you and if he/she doesn't at least you know you had done your best. In
the subsequent sessions while various more intimate questions were being asked
and pondered, I noticed a young girl that appeared to be part of the "staff"
may be the pastor's assistant. Well, having scanned the participants body before
with nothing to prick my interest, I had at last found someone I could
definitely "consider". So from then one, I was bust scheming how I would hand
over the little personal detail form that was handed out previously to her - I
don't believe the pastors injunction covered her but hey! There were only 2
problems - one, I had turned down the card while in the hall since I didn't
really believe there was anyone in that crowd of over 70 people I would
willingly give my details to; and two, how was I going to pull it off. One thing
at a time though. first, I secured one of those (now) elusive bitsy forms, and
quickly filled it. Then, I kept a sharp look out for her while pretending to be
interested in the going-on in my group (see one story below). By the time, we
were through it was getting dark, and I found out that she was talking to a
group of boys and girls - probably friends. I "loitered" around and when she
appeared to be briefly free, took the plunge.
"Hi, do you work here"
"Not exactly, I am a member of the church. I am serving in Benin at the moment,
but home on a short break, and I am helping out with the programme"
A few other general questions and then as I was about to say bye, my hand came
up and I guess she was expecting a handshake which was good because I just
slipped the piece of paper into her hand instead.
"That's my contact details. You may call me or if you like, just destroy the
With that, I turned on my heels and legged it out of there.
I guess she took
me up on my second offer - I never heard from her.
Now to that story told by one of the participants. She was asked why she
wasn't yet married. She said she and the man had been together probably 5 to 8
years, but that the guy said he would only get married after he has built his
own house and acquired 2 cars and that about 5 years later he still hadn't
realised any of his "dreams" and that she was fed up of waiting for him which is
why she found herself attending the programme.
One can't blame the poor girl!
Guilty by participation
I was chilling in a little recess created in the hedge bordering the road. From
the amount of police activity just up the road, it seems someone is taking
delivery of a lot of cash. Suddenly, I was confronted by a couple of armed men
with a pistol pointing in my face and the person welding it possessing all the
intention to shoot. I begged them and said that I would "corporate" with them.
They agreed, stepped out and soon after the fireworks began. Some minutes later
they were back along with a close friend called Tope. From his enthusiasm i
wasn't sure whether he was cooperating under duress or not. In fact, after
seeing the bag of money i was becoming enthusiastic myself. For some reason, it
seems I knew the area very well, so I told them that if they could make it
across the open field on which the hedge bordered into the forest behind that,
they should be able to make good their getaway. all made it across. I got up to
see what was going on and there were my father and younger brother more or less
with the police on the open field. It seems my father was helping the police
search for the money while my brother for some reason had been given the bag of
money which had been placed in a traveling bag. And he was just hanging around
on the field with the bag half open! I gestured frantically for him to get going
all the while trying not to draw the attention of the police to him or myself.
He then tried to hug my dad as if to indicate that he would be going away for a
while, but he was brushed off and told to just go. He seemed to have snapped
after that and he just started to also look round on the field for the missing
money while I was besides myself with worry!|
OK. It was all just a dream, but
I practically woke up with the frustration of seeing him so close to the police
with the bag in his shoulder.
Just the way it is ...
There is no more beach on the Barbeach - just a strip of sand pounded
relentlessly by the ocean.|
The man on my left has got his trouser legs rolled
up to his knees, he appears to be praying. We are all looking for solutions; the
rich also cry so what option does the poor have.
The man on my right is smoking. he's got the lighted cigarette in the the cup
of his palm. Smoking is no longer an acceptable vice. Science is doing all it
can to keep us alive so we have all found vices that don't kill as easily. In my
father's time smoking was a fashion or class statement.
I looked across the bay at the ships anchored in the harbour. It would be
nice to be able to forget all my cares and just sail away for a couple of weeks
maybe as a deckhand - but the age of innocence has passed and I have got
I will spend 30 minutes then go back home.
A group of 8 kids walked past. They were so dirty, the wind from the ocean
wafted their "smell" up to me.
2 riders on a horse sped by, one of them singing Reggae - "... if you smoke
weed you will get high..." How I high I wondered and for how long?
I called Tope this afternoon and he told me that Stella is dead, and that 118
people went down in Oyo on a Bellview airplane. He said I should go and switch
on my TV and listen to the news. I replied that I have had light for about 2
days. He said I should go and put on the generator. I told him I will wait and
hopefully NEPA will return the power supply.
Sometime one wonders "what is the point of it all"
I believe every person should have 2 plans: the long term "I will live
forever" plan, and a short checkout plan that acknowledges the fact that no one
has control over anything plan.
The man on my left runs towards the waves one last time, bending down he
scoops up some of the salt water and drinks it.
I have spent 30 minutes. I will go home now. If there is still no light, I
will put on the generator and hopefully NEPA will return the power supply soon.
Epilogue: The following day I learnt the following:
Stella died as a result of complications from a liposuction procedure he
The plane was about 24 years old. Also, a family member told me that at about
8:45pm on the faithful day, she was in an area quite close to the airport and
that when a plan flew overhead sputtering like it was grinding stones together
in its engine, she and a friend looked up in concern and that with the details
of the planes flight revealed now, it was most certainly the crashed plane.
My final comments: it is well known that all surgical procedures no matter
how simple carry some risk and that the likelihood of complication increases
with the patients age. Ultimately, the best method of looking and feeling good
is to stick to a good exercise regime. I am sure this will make anybody
thinking of the same procedure think twice. While I don't know her personally, I
still feel sorry for her - it is not a good way to go. I was going to change the
title of this entry to "How Stella lost her groove" but on second thoughts ...
Nigerians treat planes like they treat their commercial buses. They seem to
forget that there is one fundamental difference between a plane and a bus: if a
bus develops problems on the road, the driver can pull over to the curb, either
sort out the problem or let the passengers "find their levels" at it is said.
But with a plane, their is no pulling over, "all go down." Maybe if the plane
had turned back early enough, it might have made it to land safely. It is
surprising that pilots would risk their own lives for their corporations knowing
the full implication of a failed plane in the sky. Maybe Nigerians should start
being alert and demanding as a body that a plane that sounds or performs awfully
on take off should be returned to the landing strip at once - even if it means
hijacking the plane!
Once I boarded a plane at Kano airport going to Lagos. At first there was a
little delay and we noticed that the cabin was sort of hot. We then took off and
within minutes the plane became so hot that people started fanning themselves.
After a few minutes in the air, the pilot realised that there was no way he
could make the journey to Lagos with the plane in that shape - it also appeared
that the problem was starting to affect the engines. We turned back and were
kept in the airless cabin for about 30 minutes while the airline's mechanics
tried to sort out the problem with the plane's cooling system. We took off
afterwards with the cabin temperature just bearable - the idea was to get
the plane to Lagos where they could take a better look at the problem. I noticed
quite a few people mumbling prayers under their breath that the plane should
make it safely to Lagos.
I suspect there were people doing the same on the ill-fated plane. Maybe
there are just times when we should act and not pray, but that is the benefit of
I was looking through the manifest of the flight and came across a name that
I know. While only the initial of the firstname was listed, I became quite
worried, of course their could be lots of people of the same gender with the
same Initial and the same marital status in Lagos - I hope so. On a lighter
note, a customer of my sister's firm who was supposed to be on the flight but
didn't make it can be presumed as one of the living-dead as his name appeared on
the manifest. As someone pointed out, in other countries contact would have been
established with the family members and obvious errors such as this would have
been either flagged or avoided.
The psychology of Marketing
I stepped out of my office building tonight with the hope that the people
selling the nice plantain chips were still around. I could see the two of them
sitting more or less next to each other, each one with a table on which was
stacked neatly bagged plantain chips.|
I automatically stopped at the first
table since it was closer to me.
As I picked up a packet of chips, the girl stood up to attend to me with a
nice smile on her face.
I picked up another pack and then she goes "No. Take the fresh ones. You work
in Vmobile right? I know my customers. So when you come ask from me eh?"
When she saw that I was not sure which was fresh and which wasn't, she actually
took the pack from me and selected 2 by herself and put them in a polythene bag.
I bought the 2 packs and moved on and I thought about everything she did right
which may make the difference between a thriving business and one gone burst.
1. Location - now this could have been purely by chance, but she was closer
to the office gates than her mate so the likelihood that she would take the
lionshare of the market is almost a given.
2. She stood up and acknowledged my importance as a potential customer. And
we all like to be acknowledged.
3. She showed an interest in what I was doing whereas she could just have sat
there like a member of the M.U.M.U. or just starred at me like I was just
another Martian from outer space. After all, how many packs did I buy -
just 2 which equals N200 which won't take her home anyway.
4. She had a smile on her face. That automatically makes one welcome. The
expression on some peoples face alone would not make a dog go near them.
5. She offered help without my having to ask - she was proactive.
6. She didn't miss an opportunity to make a sales pitch i.e., she said "so
when next you come ask from me eh." She is making an assumption that a satisfied
would return again and again.
With all that I left her stand with a smile on my face too. Now she could
have been fobbing off her stale chips on me under the pretext of selling me the
fresh ones. But even with all that, assume I got home to find the chips stale, I
would still have been inclined to think that she made a mistake rather than
thinking the worst and consigning all her generation to some unmentionable
Now that is a good salesperson, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this piece
with a smile on my face, would I?
Knights in shining armour
While it is not a fact, the shining-armour thingie probably went out with Conan
or is it King Arthur?.|
(read more ...)
Of languages and men
Today I had to hurry to work to fix some problems on a server. I got on a bike
and just at the next juncture, the biker saw an acquaintance of his coming in
the opposite direction on a bike by way of greeting the says "weere". If you are
Yoruba, you probably wont think nothing of it since peers sometimes call each
order by all sorts of names. But this guy is definitely Hausa. So it just
confirms the belief that the easiest thing one picks up in any language are the
(Weere - means madman)
The reunion ...
I was a bit apprehensive when I learnt that she might show up. There was some
relief and a glimmer of hope when I later learnt that her husband had to go to
work. Then almost at the end of the ceremony another friend informed "us" that
the husband was on the way - I guess that meant she would soon be along too. The
reunion was "easier" than I expected. I guess you can hide any emotion behind a
well-placed laugh anytime.|
There is a certain carriage; a certain charm; a certain refinement; that is not
taught - some just possess it.
Up the creek ...
There I was up the proverbial creek without a paddle. I had managed to lock
myself out the the "house." My house has a burglarproof gate just at the foot
of the stairs that goes to the first floor. And having just come back from
barbing my hair, I went upstairs, took off shoes and trousers, dropped
everything including the keys to the padlock for the gate. I went back
downstairs with the intention of watching some TV. Normally, I just put the
padlock in place without actually locking it, but for some reason my hand just
went all the way this time, and as I heard the click, I went "darn!" in my mind.
So there I was in my boxers and the very bleak chance that this Saturday, I
might not be getting upstairs anytime soon. At first, I tried to pick the lock
(naive me, I had read a few pages on lock picking). As it turned out, no luck
with this lock! Then I considered going to some mechanics a couple of
streets away, maybe they can cut the padlock - then I remembered that I only had
on a shirt, a pair of boxers and no shoes. So I tried calling my sister
and her husband and the call refused to go through. The next option was the possibility of a very tiny neighborhood kid going through the grill
of the burglarproof gate, but it was too fine, and oh my, what big heads all the
kids in the neighborhood have!|
Then I received an inspiration, I remembered that I had left the second bunch of
keys on my bed, maybe ... just maybe. Soon with the help of a few of those
"gifted" neighborly kids, I had our metal ladder up against my window. The
bunch of keys was in plain sight at the foot of the bed. That meant I needed a stick
about 6 foot long with which to maneuver the thing and hopefully not drop it
while trying to retrieve it through the burglarproof outside the window. I
ended up tying a short thin stick to a much longer plastic water pipe. With much
prayers under my breath, I was able to retrieve the keys. And there was joy on
You though that was awesome. No, something similar happened about 4 months back.
Before my sister got married and moved out, she once locked her keys up too. I
had left the house for a while and thinking that she wouldn't be going out, I
didn't take my keys with me. The awesome thing here is that while my own bed is
against the window, hers is a mile away on the other side of the room. So she
pioneered the window stunt back then by using a very long flexible stick to
retrieve her keys from off the bed.
Now I have hidden the spare keys safely downstairs so I wouldn't find myself
ever again in the same position!
I was skimming through "True Love West Africa" this morning when I came across
an article on Twins (no it's not mine, no I don't make an habit of reading it.
In fact, it belongs to my Aunt). What struck me immediately was the resemblance
of one of female half of a particular twin to someone I know quite well. I
looked at the name without too much focus and for some reason my mind
interpreted it along the line of "Adelugba." I thought to myself that
definitely, the girl must be from the same area as my "acquaintance." As I
continued reading the story, it suddenly dawned on me that these were the
Adegbuluge twins! I looked again at their surname and couldn't quite understand
why I didn't "see" it in the first place. There "guys" were Mrs. Sonaike's
younger siblings. (By the way, that would be the second slimsadiee huh?)|
Nice story though. It's easy to see that good "teeth" runs in the family :-)
And the par about Kehinde hitting his head on a tree branch and knocking himself
out - why, that is the stuff bestsellers are made of!
I am sure there must be some squabbling about who is the youngest (even though
neither of them mentioned it)
Book Launch ! Book Launch! Book Launch! ! ! !
My aunt Mrs. P. A. Ogundipe is launching her autobiography on the 22nd of
September 2005. If you happen to be in Lagos, help make it the literary event of the
year! She wrote the "Practical English" and "Brighter Grammar" school book
series. So will all the people she has helped master the English language please
stand up? (That's good, I can see the whole house is on its feet :-)|
And ahem, about my English, there is only one logical explanation. English in
its true form ceased to be taught in the secondary school I attended just the
"term" before I started class one ... :-) OK, that's a little exaggerated.
See scan of I.V
Menace to society . . .
Waiting for a bike after the "chat", I see a bike man having problems with his
bike a couple of blocks away. I started walking in his direction on my way to
the adjacent street. He finally managed to start the bike. I walked past him as
he started to rev it. At the same time hold on to the handlebars of the bike
while on his feet beside the bike, he increased the rev. As he did so the bike
started picking up speed, he contniued revving the bike furiously and running
with the bike. I stooped and looked after him - knowing that soemthing was
definitely going to give soon. Now hes was practically running with the bike and
I could see he was losing control of it as the bike was starting to go off at an
angle to wards the kerb. the next minute the bike fell on its side taking the
okada rider with it. Both were dragged a few feet with tsparks flying all over
the man and the bike. When the bike cane to a stop, he got up, stood the bike
upright and started dusting himself. I am sure he must have more than scratches
on his body. How crazy can one get?|
May be I should have gone back and taken a
good look at his face. So that next time we cross paths, I will know to politely
turn down his services!
What didn't get said during the "chat"
At last it was my turn. I walked in and looking up he noticed my left hand did a
double-take (they all do and I guess it is natural). I almost didn't see it as
it was almost imperceptible - he was that good. But with my years of experience,
I did see it - perhaps I am paranoid - no, not on this issue.|
I spent the whole of 3 minutes before he let me go. That must be the years
record for shortest chat award.
On my way out he asked about the interview and I said it was OK, but I was quite
surprised at the shortness of the "session". He told me to come see him after I
took my Linux certification exam.
I (almost) knew why he let me off so easily (he asked me the same question). On
my way out I was almost sure. It was a combination of factors: he was tired. The
day was far spent, then there was the issue of the hand. In his position, I
might have thought to myself, "Gees I am tired. I think I should let him off
easy. Besides, he is a level 5ver, so what is his standing in the real scheme of
things. I am sure he would appreciate it too - me letting him go easy that is.
Yes that is what I will do. I should be getting home anyway"
Yes, maybe I did appreciate it. On the other hand, it brings up certain
inappropriate feelings and thoughts to my mind - I didn't like it - the reasons
are just wrong. The "special" treatment. I do not like interviews - I go blank
just before it starts. Yes, I remember a colleague and a friend telling me
before I went in, "Tunde, sell yourself. Sell, sell and sell yourself. You never
know what can happen." For me that is easier said than done. I could probably
sell an e1 IP-circuit to a fishmonger with very little effort, but ask me to
sell myself . . . that is another matter.
Don't get me wrong, he is definitely
a good guy and widely-read.
I know he reads a lot. I do too. I love I.T. I love experimenting - seeing
what works and how to get things working. I would have loved an informal chat
with him -say a 3some. Then I could drop terms like virtualization, ethernet
bonding, dynamic reconfiguration, emulation, DLPAR, Xen, EMC/Vmware, Microsoft (Connectix)
VPC. Server consolidation, SUN containers, etc . . . but that didn't
happen. Instead I thanked him, bid him good night and headed into the Lagos
I am not . . .
Like all my forebears before me, I declare that I am not a one-trick pony. I am
gifted by God. I am imbued in more ways than I know. I am fearfully and
wonderfully made. I will turn my talents into the vehicle of my success. I will
dine with kings. I will be great.
I am not a one-trick pony . . . |
That last button . . .
I have come to the conclusion that the position of that last button (yes, the
topmost button) on ladies shirts are moved strategically downwards by the wearer
for maximum "killer" impact. I mean, I have seen some that is nothing short of
ridiculous. They may come like that on catwalks but certainly not on the average
person walking the streets. I have asked someone about it but I didn't get a
satisfactory answer. So the question, young ladies is "do you take a blade and a
needle to your shirts after purchase and shift the button's position downwards?"|
The greatest disservice a man can render to himself is to half-believe in God.
God is not pleased; man wonders why nothing is happening and the only happy
party is the Devil|
May be I have got this wrong? It seems when you see two girls moving closely
together, one is a stunner and the other is her sidekick? Is it some inner need
by the sidekick to associate with a more perfect "figure" (figuratively
speaking) and hopefully some of the shine would rub off on her? Or is it just
that 2 beautiful girls would naturally drift apart due to the innate desire to
be the only belle of the ball?|
Please correct me if I have got the wrong end of the stick ...
Proverbs 16:3 says "commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be
Why didn't it say the opposite i.e., "commit thy thoughts unto the
LORD, and thy works shall be established."? Because that would have implied a
lazy man can fold his hands (just pray to God that's all!) and thy works
(clothing, money, food, cars, etc) shall come into being! Oops, not with this GOD
- you gotta work, then he will give you grace in excess (Psalm 23:5b - "thou
anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over") And if you are throughly
willing to work, that is some form of humbleness so, James 4:6b - "Wherefore he
saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble")
Save Oh Father
Play the clip. That's me exercising my voice box at 1:am in the morning|
747 ... booooorrrriiiiing!
A colleague asked another colleague in the office why he was "O'n boyin be 747".
He meant why was he smiling to himself. The Yoruba phrase above is a play on the
Boeing 747 to something like "smiling like a 747"|
The bus driver
Yesterday on my way to Marina I boarded a bus half filled with guys and the news
I saw the previous night crossed my mind. It was about the "one chance" buses. I
took care to sit close to the door, but after a while having told myself that I
am a son of the King and that it is unlikely for "them" to operate in V/I
together with the benign look of the driver I relaxed a little. Just in front of
the Silverbird emporium, a taxi-cab pulled away from the curb and we nearly ran
into him. The busdriver stepped on hi brakes, pull up beside the taxi and said "Oloshi.
Armed robber!" One of the passengers in the bus added to the taxidriver "Baba,
eti ya were sir o!"|
Well, I got to my destination, called the man only to discover he wasn't back in
the office. I jumped on a bike to CMS to board a bus going back to V/I. This
time I sat in front next to the driver and as soon as he started the bus, I
noticed there was something familiar about him - he looked like the same driver
that drove the bus I took to CMS. I looked back at the "conductor" but I wasn't
so sure about him. The next minute a bus went into reverse ahead of us and
nearly backed into "our" bus. The driver shouted "Oloshi! Armed robber" -
well I had my answer :-)
There is not one perfect person on earth - no, not one. But there are a few
people walking the earth that are close enough. One such person got married last
weekend. This is saying congratulations to the latest couple in town - the "Sonaikes".
May God bless the union in all the ways only He can. Hidden riches of secret
places and secret riches of hidden places may he grant the couple aplenty.
And following Mr Albert Campion's lead (in "The Question Mark"), I will
now cross the madam's name off my private list entitled "Elegant Young Persons
Whom I Ought to Take to Lunch" and write it neatly at the top of my "People I
Must Send Christmas Cards to" folder.
There is a bank a couple of blocks away from my house, and every morning
while walking to the main road to catch a bike to work, I have to pass
the car drivers of the bank by the road. It seems they are always discussing
about their "conquests" or some girl that is still proving hard to get. I
mean these are married men with kids at home! I was going to quickly
condemn them, but soon realised that it wasn't much better where I work.
It seems all men are born equal when it comes to certain things. We are all
men of impure thoughts with evil intent seeking naive conquests.|
This morning . . .
It was one of those mornings. I was woken up by my Uncle at 7:30am - it seems
his Windows desktop (mot his MAC Mini or his Windows lappy) had decided to
start Bluescreening (If you use Windows and you don't know what a BOD is, you
don't wanna find out - it also means you must be a very lightweight user -
probably just playing solitaire and minesweeper on the thing - good for you.
Ok, with time against me, I fixed the BOD problem only to be remember that I
was supposed to help my aunt hotsync her Sony Clie to her laptop. In between
brushing my teeth, taking my bath, and dressing up I did the sync and was only 4 minutes late to work -
how about that for performance? It's a KPA issue!|
The exam . . .
The venue for the exam was quite far. I hitched a ride
and that still took some time. Finally, I was close
enough. I got off and then legged it through some
brambles, and trees to the venue. The venue was one of
those tiered rooms like the typical University lecture
room. We settled down and after a while the exam started
- it was an hour long exam. It was then I discovered
that I didn't not have any answer booklet on my desk. I
rushed to the back to get another seat. The desk also
did not have any answer booklet. I noticed an answer
booklet on the next desk that had already been used -
and was about 3 pages full. That's highly unlikely,
unless the owner came in with some "chips.". I rushed
down to the front again, and sat beside someone who was
busy sleeping! No answer booklet on that desk either.
Turned and tried to shake the guy awake and discovered
that it was Kenneth (a consultant from an application
development company I knew!) I rushed to another desk
and finally found a usable answer booklet. I opened it
and was about to start work when my boss called (phone)
. . . and woke up.
It was about 6:50am, I tried to make my voice sound
clear so that he wouldn't guess that I was still asleep.
"Hello Tunde. The customer just called me now. Make sure
you get to the office early today and stay on top of the
situation. I will be late to the office. Please keep me
posted. . . . "
I had a good mind to tell him that I was in the office
until 10pm the previous night, but I didn't say
anything. He was right as usual: "only result is
rewarded; effort is not"
The CEO Roadshow . . .
As I watched people rushing to get to the venue before
the stated time, it dawned on me that if people feared
God just half as much as they feared men, this world
would be a much better place. It appears the problem is
not that people do not fear God; It's much deeper than
that. If people truly believe that God exist and that He
is all-seeing and all-knowing, then many of the things
we do that are against the laws of men and/or God
wouldn't get done. Yes, we all confess with our mouth
that we believe in God, but do we really truly deeply
believe? No, I guess not.
Good food can Kill . . .
I came across a lady walking along the road today and
the only thing that came to my mind was "good food can
(read more ...)
How to Know a Nigerian . . . a.ka. Nigerians can't sing
Airport Immigration Dept.
Custom Officer (CO): Mr. Ajanlekoko, we have reason to
believe that you are not really a Nigerian even though
it appears that the passport you have in your possession
Person: Haba, I am a Nigerian to the core
CO - in order not to delay you too much, we will just
make you take a very simple test which works all the
time. Please sing the National Anthem
Person - Arise O ... (he proceeded to sing the
national anthem without missing a note or word)
CO - I can see you know the . . . .
Person - (cutting in) Please I haven't finished. Let me
sing the original version too.
CO - you know that one too?
Person - yes (very proud of himself)
CO - there is no need. You did very well with the "new"
version. I am afraid we know for sure now that you are
not a Nigerian.
Person - how can you say that?
CO - 2 good reasons. You are not up to 40 years of age,
more important, you know the national anthem in full by
CO - no true Nigerian nowadays can get past the 3rd line
of the first stanza.
(Ayotunde - 22-July-2005)
I set to thinking what it was that made me do the
things I do
I Hmm. How come this section is blank?
Best of the Rest
If you have any computing project you want handled professionally, by all means
check out my business page. Check my Blog if you are interested in how
I spend my day. Everything else goes on the Best of the
Rest page. Friends, utilities, interests, colleagues etc. I think that about
covers it, but if there is anything else you need to know, please contact me.
Copyright (c) 2004 Uridium Systems. All rights reserved.